Do The Chickens Have Large Talons?
by DopeyTheChosen1
Summary: This time, Irvine didn't even ask the question! final entry in the 'Chicken Questions Trilogy'. please give me some ideas, as i used them all up in the last book! credit will be given to you!...and ND is to thank for this book. if u dont no hu he is ur du
1. And so it begins, again

DO THE CHICKENS HAVE LARGE TALONS?

CHAPTER ONE

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It was a cloudy day. There wasn't any sun. That's why it was cloudy. It makes you wonder, doesn't it? I mean, just because it was cloudy doesn't mean that there isn't any sun or anything . . . right?

Zidane and Eiko have set out yet again to solve a question. This one will be harder to write than the others because it doesn't really have an answer. Nothing has a correct answer. Have you ever noticed that? Like, what is the weather like today? Well, someone may say, "Cloudy." Another person might argue that it's a fine day with plenty of sun. That doesn't mean that it is, and it doesn't mean that it is cloudy either. Everyone has their own opinions. Like your opinion might be that this is a waste of time and I should just shut up and let Zidane and Eiko get on with their little time-wasting adventure while another person may think that this all has a lot of meaning and someone else may think that this is a very long sentence and I simply think that this is really hurting my already sore hands.

Okay.

- 0 -

"Guess what?" Zidane asked as he and Eiko wandered around, searching for chickens. They had been banned from the Loire farm long ago and Raine had told them never to return.

"What?" Eiko asked, rolling her eyes. If it was another stupid chicken phrase she wou-

"Chicken Butt!" Zidane broke into laughter. "Isn't that funny? Of course it is! You cant' get any funnier than that! Okay, Guess why?"

"Why?" Eiko said through gritted teeth.

"COW PIE!" Zidane broke out in laughter again. "Okay, so you can get funnier! But who cares!? Okay, one more . . . guess who?"

"WHO?"

"Turkey Poo!" the genome was in laugher again.

Eiko shook her head. She had no idea why this was happening to her. This had started out simple enough . . . why did the chicken cross the road. Then Irvine just HAD to ask what came first, the chicken or the egg? And now Zidane thought he had told them to find out if 'the chickens have large talons'. Can't that stupid monkey tell the difference between a TV and real life??

"Hello? Can you here me?? DON"T YOU KNOW THERE"S A KILLER ASTEROID HEADED STRAIGHT AT YOU??? AUGH!! AAUGH!! RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN AWAY!! FLY AWAY! FLY AWAY! FLY AWAY ALL!!!!" Zidane was in tears, trying to warn the little girl on the TV screen.

The asteroid hit her in the end, and Eiko had to tow the hysterical genome away.

"You idiot," Eiko spat. "Can't you tell the difference between real life and television?"

"You're the idiot," Zidane said calmly. "Technically, we LIVE in a television. So there."

"NO WE DON'T! WE LIVE IN A COMPUTER!"

"TV!"

"COMPUTER!"

"NU!"

"NU?"

"Nu? What does nu mean? Anything?" Zidane had, yet again, confused himself for no apparent reason. "Is it some form of the word 'ni'? Ni nu ni nu ni nu ni nu…"

"WAUGH!" Eiko fell to the ground, covering her ears as Zidane's words attacked her. "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!"

"NI NI NI NI." Zidane went on. "Weird."

"What is it?" Irvine was wandering around and happened to come behind them.

"AUGH! IT! DON"T SAY IT!!" Zidane now covered his ears. (this is getting pretty random, isn't it?)

"What? Don't say what? What is it? Won't someone tell me what it is?" Irvine went on. Raymond joined him. "Hey, can you tell me what the heck is going on here? Dane-dane won't tell me what it is."

"What? What do you mean?" Raymond looked to where Zidane was cowering. "Oh, he's just reliving that one scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail."

"Oooohhh…" Irvine grinned. "IT IT IT IT IT IT IT!!"

"WAUGH!" Zidane began yelling and Eiko hit him with her note-taking-board-that's-stapled-and-now-glued-to-the-clip-board-board. "Shut up. You're not a knight of ni or whatever."

"I'm not?"

"Right!" Irvine gave him a thumbs up. "You're a Monkey of F(bleep)! HAHA!" He and Raymond began laughing.

"Whatever." Zidane gained control of his control and stood up. "So, Irvine, we're out to find out what the answer is to the question you sent us to find out, so here we are trying to find out what the answer is to the question you told us to find out, so here we are talking to you while we try to find out what the answer is to the question you told us to find out, and now we're gonna' be late on finding out what the answer is to the question you told us to find out . . ." He paused before turning to Eiko. "What more can I say?"

"You lost me at 'whatever'." Irvine shrugged. "I didn't send you to find out anything. Other than why did the chicken cross the road and what came first the chicken or the egg?"

"Yes you did. You want to know if the Chickens have sharp talons." Zidane insisted.

"What? DUDE! That's Napoleon Dyna—" Irvine was about to blow his cover, but Raymond clapped a hand over his mouth and whispered in his hear. "Ehwhat? . . . Yeah . . . what? They end up killing themselves? OKAY!" Irvine smiled. "Now, go forth and become happy cabbage!... I mean, find out if those chickens have sharp talons!"

"SIR YES SIR!!" Zidane saluted before running off into the sunset . . . er, clouds.

"Can I quit?" Eiko asked. Irvine shook his head. "That's what I figured."

At that moment Zidane came running back. "WherearewesupposetofindachickenwegotkickedofftheLoire'sfarmandi'mreallyhyperoncaffienandigottagopeebye!" And in a whoosh of motion, the caped avenger was gone . . . wait . . . what did I just say?

"Uh…" Irvine watched as Zidane ran off into the sunset this time…which was really a movie set so of course he knocked it down and got sued. "Isn't Cloud a chicken?"

"Yeah, but Kadaj and company ate him." Eiko shrugged. "So, we need a chicken."

Zidane came back. "Here's our chicken." He pointed over his shoulder to . . .

- 0 -

Okay, let me know. Whose gonna' be the chicken this time?

- 0 -

Sorry about the really short chapters. The next one will be longer!

- 0 -

And Raymond is a made up character that was thought up by my friend, Tomo Zabac, well, at least that's her name right now. She changes regularly. And the whole turkeypoo/cowpie/chickenbutt think used to be something a boy in my class said all the time.

- 0 -

the little girl who got hit by the asteroid belongs to me. she isn't from anything and if she is then I apologize for stealing her, but she belongs to me now, and if you say she's from War of the Worlds, well f(bleep) you, I didn't even WATCH war of the worlds, and barely finished the book because it was so funny. I WANT to watch it, but I haven't been able too. let me know who the chicken is, damn it!


	2. Low on ideas, but getting more!

DO THE CHICKENS HAVE LARGE TALONS?

CHAPTER TWO

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man! that gets boring! anyhoo, enough with the retardedness! on with the fic!

- § -

"Dude," Eiko said when she Steiner. "That ain't a chicken, that's a turkey."

"No," Zidane insisted. "THAT's a turk-" he pointed over his shoulder at Reno. "-…ey…."

"Anyway," Eiko continued. "Did you know that turkeys are so stupid, that when it rains they'll look up at the sky with their mouths open and so their throats fill up with water until they drown?"

"That's not true!"

Then it decided to rain. Steiner looked up, and opened his mouth. The summoner and genome watched for about fifteen minutes, before he fell over, his throat filled with water.

"HA!" Eiko shouted triumphantly. "Told you!"

"Nu uh!" Zidane insisted. "He didn't DROWN." Steiner was beginning to twitch in death (deathtwiches). "…yet…"

"Good job, Zidane, we haven't even started yet and you've already killed someone."

"That's not my fault! It's the damn weather's!" Zidane insisted, burying Steiner's now violently twitching body and covering up all evidence that pointed to him.

"But that still doesn't get us a chicken," Eiko pointed out.

"DON'T POINT AT ME!!" Zidane screamed.

"I'm NOT! I'm just pointing out a fact!"

"Well . . ." Zidane thought a minute. "Where did Napoleon get HIS chickens?"

"What?" Eiko raised an eyebrow.

"C'mon." Zidane said, heading for Idaho.

--

dopey: okay, I may be going way, Way, WAy, WAY out on a limb here, but don't worry. the next theme won't last very long, but let me know how you like it once I type it up. gotta go finish a science report now!

April 5, 2007

I hate science reports.

does anyone know of a website that has the life cycle of a rough skinned newt on it? I need to know by tomorrow morning!!!!!!!!!!

if you can help me, I will love you even more than when you review!


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